Monday, February 18, 2013

I Hate Pussies

I hate pussies.
Not nerds or geeks or wimps, Trekkies, or even that peace-preaching pacifist that refuses to fight or say a bad word about anyone, even when he’s getting the shit kicked outta him. I’m not talking about any of those guys. In fact, more power to them. No, I’m talking about the spoiled-rotten kid whose parents were too busy arranging play dates and getting their kids into the best school money can buy to realize that they were turning their kid into a spoiled little bitch. That’s the kind of pussy I’m talking about.
Working in the food service industry for the past decade, you better believe I’ve seen my share of misbehaved kids. I want to go up to the parents and shake them, “What the fuck is wrong with you?!?!” But god forbid they discipline precious little Dylan/Jacob/Tyler/Logan! No, they’d rather let him run around the restaurant and be a fucking nuisance. I can’t wait for the day when little Dylan/Jacob/Tyler/Logan is running around like a crazed maniac and bumps into a server carrying a hot cup of coffee. Ok, maybe that’s a little harsh, and of course I would never wish pain or harm on any child, but you get what I mean, right? I mean, Jesus Christ, I was a kid once too, and I would never ever in a million years even think of acting that way in public. And I never got hit as a kid, either. Although I know a lot of people my age would agree with me and say, “Yeah, I woulda gotten the shit kicked outta me if I acted like that.” Well, all I needed was the death-look from dear ol’ Dad. He never had to lay a hand on me, all he needed to do was glare at me with that “You better knock it off now!” look in his eye, and I knew I’d better behave. And guess what? I did. So did my brother. And so did (most of) my friends. But of course, this was in the mid 1970’s. Oh, how times have changed.
Unfortunately for kids in today’s society, it’s not as easy as that anymore. Today, kids live in a world where “every kid makes the team.”  I’m sorry, but that is some bullshit if I ever heard it. Why do we feel it necessary to give every kid a trophy, even if they sucked? It’s fucking stupid. It gives kids a false sense of worth and security that doesn’t exist in the real world. And what happens when these kids grow up and they don’t “make the team,” or “get the trophy?” They become pussies. Whiny, petulant, maladjusted assholes.
Whatever happened to kids learning defeat and how to accept it gracefully? “Everyone has to be equal.” Well guess what, motherfucker, everyone isn’t equal, and the sooner your kid learns that, the better off he’ll be. Newsflash! Not all kids are good at sports! Why are we so goddamn afraid to say that? Because kids will get their feelings hurt? Are you fucking kidding me? Isn’t it better that they learn about hurt feelings and that it’s part of life, but it’s okay because you get over it? Isn’t that better than delaying the inevitable and letting them think they’re good at something when they’re really not? Kids are so resilient, they bounce back easily. Especially with some encouragement from Mom or Dad. A kid who learns defeat and how to overcome it early in life is going to be a lot better adjusted and have a lot easier time transitioning into adulthood than one who thinks that he is good at everything and grows up with a sense of entitlement. It seems to me that some parents are putting an awful lot of pressure on themselves to “protect” their kids, when they’re really just protecting themselves.
You know what I say? So what if little Dylan/Jacob/Tyler/Logan sucks at basketball? Who gives a shit? I’m positive there’s something else he’s good at. Maybe the skinny kid that has one leg longer than the other and wears coke-bottle glasses and can’t run or throw a ball to save his life is a fucking musical genius! Maybe he’s the most insane trumpet player you’ve ever heard! Maybe the girl who’s not nimble enough to be a cheerleader is a math whiz. Maybe, if given the chance, she’ll love science so much that she’ll discover the cure for cancer. Not everybody has to be good at everything. That’s the beauty of living in a society like ours. You can be an individual. You can embrace your uniqueness. Unfortunately, a lot of parents miss the boat on this.
Now, I’m not saying that all—or even the majority—of parents today are like this. I have many friends and relatives my age who I think are wonderful parents and their kids are lucky as shit to have the privilege of being raised by them. And I’m not saying that these aforementioned parents are intentionally trying to fuck up their kids. But, it’s amazing to me that they don’t realize what kind of people they are turning their kids into. How can they be that blind? Someone needs to slap these people.
Don’t get me wrong, I am all for giving kids their space and freedom. I think they should be allowed to express themselves artistically or otherwise. I have no problem with tattoos (obviously!), piercings or dying your hair hot pink. But at four years old, a child should maybe be allowed to pick out her own outfit for the day, NOT have the freedom to run rampant like a bat out of hell in a crowded restaurant and speak to adults in a disrespectful way.
I want to tell today’s youth: Go out and play! Get dirty! Learn some heartache, lose a game! Suck at something, but be proud of yourself for trying! Fall down and skin your knees, shit, break a bone if you have to! Do whatever you can to express your individuality, and above all, HAVE FUN!
Otherwise, thirty or forty years from now, the world is going to be run by a bunch of spoiled, pussified assholes, and that won’t be any fun for anybody.

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